The Weight of It All

About two and a half months ago I was reading my friend John Brown’s Facebook status updates.  He had decided to do a juice fast in November; which was decidedly the dumbest thing I had ever heard.  Why anyone would commit themselves to only juice in the month that inevitably involves large amounts of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie is beyond me. 

At first I would fly past his updates as fast as my fingers could move.  But then he started saying things that resonated with me.  He talked about the yoyo dieting he had done in years past; that even when he dieted, he would still think of a time when he would be able to eat “normal” again.  He talked about needing to recalibrate the way he thought about food, and how this drastic step was his reset button.

I was inspired, and somewhere around the second week of November I gave up sugar. 

Sugar is a problem for me.  When I talked about my inability to not eat sugar I sounded like an alcoholic at a meeting.  It seemed impossible to go through a day without it.  Nothing should have that kind of hold on my life; I mean, not something that my body doesn’t exactly need. 

So, when challenged by my friend’s commitment I thought, “What if I give up sugar tomorrow, just tomorrow?  I won’t eat sugar for 24 hours.  I might eat sugar the next day or by the weekend.  But I will try not to for 24 hours.”  

I started taking it a day at a time and I am going on 3months.  I would like to take more credit for this but God has really been helping me.

I never liked the idea of God being your diet partner. 

First off I didn’t like the implication when someone would talk about their diet that way.  If you tell me that God is really helping you with your diet, then it’s like you’re telling me that not only are you healthier than me, you’re also more spiritual. Although I am not the fittest person, I am über spiritual.  I read Spurgeon and stuff so back off.

Second, the idea seemed belittling to an all powerful God.  As if keeping God out of my diet plan was out of reverence to Him and not really an attempt to hide that part of my life.

I fool myself into thinking that God is as ashamed of my weight as I am, and maybe He hasn’t brought it up because I never mentioned it to Him.  I am the elephant in the room.

I also didn’t like bringing God into the dieting equation because when I fail at this diet as I always have, it won’t be something I am just “letting slide,” maybe instead it will be sin.  If I bring God into this and don’t succeed, I will not only be failing myself,  I will be failing God as well.

It felt like inviting God onto a sinking ship.  He deserves better than to be a part of another one of my failed attempts. He has better things to do.  He doesn’t want that.

Yes. He does.  The truth is God is exactly who you want on a sinking ship.  So I tossed God the keys the Titanic.

 I can’t do this.  It is the line that keeps running through my head and it is true except for one simple caveat.  I can’t do this alone. 

The Lord doesn’t want us to do things alone, that’s why He gives us things that are bigger than we can handle. 

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.   
2 Corinthians 12:9

And let’s say that me failing on my diet is a sin (which I am not saying it is. I would take that on a case by case basis and maybe re look at the doctrine on the issue.)  But let’s say it is.  Then did God not pay for that sin as well?  Don’t I only need to ask forgiveness and that is covered under His sacrificial love?

And let’s say it’s not a sin.  Then it is just a mistake, something that I can move on from and ask the Lord for more strength the next time.  Either scenario is covered in grace and neither scenario makes me any less loved by God.

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  
Romans 8:37-39

So at the Thanksgiving table with my family I served pie but did not have any, not because I am some sort of dieting super star but because I serve a living God that has never given up on me.